HARVIN Robert, Sr. July 4, 2011. Age 65. Bullying husband of Miriam. Despotic father of Susan, Chip, and Robert Jr. Estranged son of Duke and Madeleine. A pathetic failure at all things by which a man is judged: Husband, father, son, brother, and grandfather. “Super Patriot” and retired commander in the United States Coast Guard, he protected America from the vicious threat of communism during the Vietnamese conflict while stationed safely in Sault Saint Marie, Michigan. Robert was a resident of Grosseville and enjoyed membership in many clubs and organizations including Baytime Sailing Club, and the Grosseville Boat Club, where he served as a former commodore and head nautical daisy chain leader. A man of leisure, he managed to access the trust established by his late father-in-law, through the relentless brow-beating of his wife and children. He squandered money on a clinical hoarding addiction as well as several bad investments and failed businesses. He also supported ridiculous philanthropic organizations. He is survived also by his dog and a legion of individuals who delight in his passing. Visitation Tuesday 3-6 p.m. in the Grosseville Public Pool lavatory followed by interment within the dumpster behind the 7-11.
SLUTOWSKI Susan Melody, July 8, 2011. Age 67. A miserable un-healing sore of a bitch, Susan never married or bore any children. She was an habitual shop lifter, enjoying items stolen from gas station marketplaces. From the age of 9 until her passing she maintained a 5 pack a week cigarette habit. Born in Huntsville, Alabama, Susan moved to Merrillville, Indiana in 1986 where she worked as a custodian for the Merrillville Public School System. Susan was an avid bowler and collected antique medicine tins and bottles. She had a weakness for creme de menthe. She is survived by her mother, Agnes Slutowski and 3 uncles, Leo, Caleb, and James Slutowski. A twin brother died in childbirth. She leaves 2 cats, “Pox” and “Polio”, a sugar glider, “Teabag” and a goldfish with a huge tumor on its eye. Visitation at the Merrillville Chapel of Scritti and Politti Funeral Home 13345 West Torrid Drive (at Dick.) Tuesday 2:00p.m. to 9:00p.m. Funeral Mass at St. Snickers at 11:00 a.m. Interment at Beautiful Sorrows Field of Eternal Rest. Sign online guest book at: www.scrittiandpolittifuneralhome.com
“An angel, not here, nor in Heaven. No one will miss you.”